Entries
by SalyaSky
Summary: Sequel to Wounded Duck. The guys have something to say about Rae. These are a few entries made in their journals.
1. Reconciliations

Disclaimer-I don't own the Ducks, I don't own much of anything. I'm very poor. ::sniffle::

A/N-I'm trying something a little different so please tell me what you think. .

Entry by Guy Germaine

She kept her promise. The Varsity/JV rivalry has stopped. In fact the relationship between the two teams has done a complete 180. She forces us to spend time with each other. We do off ice conditioning together. Instead of eating at two separate tables we have three tables where we all intermingle. Varstiy sits next to JV, and we even have non team members sit with us. Even the Ducks don't all sit together. And it's not a problem because we have come up with Ducks night out. One night a week all of us Ducks go out to a movie or some such thing.

We also have a weekly game, both Varsity, JV, and those ten cut from the teams participate. (Rae thought of it of course). On Sundays, our day off, we go to the rink and throw our sticks in the middle to choose teams. During the game we give each other tips and advice. It's just for fun and extra practice, there's no competition. I even heard Evan Pease, one of the first guys to be cut, giving Ryan Lupi, one of the Varsity captains, a shooting tip!

Of course, it hasn't always been like this. We got off to quite the rocky start. But Rae, ever the mediator, smoothed out the bumps. Others followed her footsteps and became mediators, Slusher, Luke, Ware, Wu, and Trevor are some of the more outspoken. 

There still is a slight division between JV and Varsity, but that's understandable. I mean we spend a lot more time with our own team than with the combined group. I feel that we're all friends but Varsity is something more to me. We're all kind of like brothers, we fight once and a while and there is a lot of teasing, but we know we can count on each other.

I'm making her out to be wonder woman, she hates that. She's a normal person who just likes to help.


	2. Tolerance

David King

We're indebted to Rae. Me and Aidan. One of the team members, Brewer, was making fun of homosexuals. She asked him what was so funny about gays? He said they just weren't normal. She asked him to define normal. He couldn't. She asked him if she was normal. He said hell no! She just looked at him. Then he did the stupidest thing I've ever seen anyone do, he shot back at her, and I quote, "You're just defending them because you're probably a lesbian yourself."

            I've never seen anyone turn so red from rage, and I've never seen anyone as scared as Brewer when she started lighting in to him. Her rant discussed his moral standings, his normality, and societies bullshit. Some words that she used are better not repeated. When she calmed down she apologized to him! Apologized! We were all shocked, some spluttered that she shouldn't have stopped there let alone apologize. She ignored us.

            She asked all those that felt like Brewer to come talk to her alone. She wanted to discuss their views in a more reasonable fashion with less audience.

            A few days later all fag jokes stopped, that's not to say that people immediately became 100% comfortable with gays but they became tolerant. When it later came out about me and Aidan, no one treated us differently, except for the occasional sideways glance, but we kept it low key and no one bothered us about it. Brewer even came up to me and Aidan and said:

            "Guys, I'm sorry about what I said before. It was . . . insensitive," he choked on the word, "I still don't approve of your . . . lifestyle, but it's your life and you're my friends so I'll just have to deal, right?"

            We just stared at him. He just nodded and walked away. We looked at each other in silence completely shocked, he really must be scared of Rae.

            I just wish there were more people who would speak up like she did. I know that the majority of the combined team felt the way that she did, but she spoke first and loudest.


	3. Decision & Confrontation

Brian Millet

            It's official. We've all decided. Rae is asexual. I mean she acts nothing like a girl, but she also says that she's not a guy, and of course we can't help noticing the fact that she has boobs, I mean most of us have changed with her, the ones that haven't think we're all lying to them. And another thing, she shows no sexual attraction to either males or females. We've asked both Julie and Connie, her closest female friends and they say she has no crushes that they know of, she hasn't even commented to them about anyone being hot or even cute. We even went so far as to ask her roommate Stephanie. She had no clue, she professed to us that she thought Rae was a guy in disguise. 

            It's totally frustrating. We finally got Connie and Jules to ask her if she liked anyone on the teams or otherwise. She said that she would never think of dating a teammate, and no she didn't have a crush.

            Not totally believing her on the later part, we decided to investigate her relationship with non-teammates. They're all guys. The only one that gets any type of preferential treatment is Dana, Mackenzie's roommate. But all they do is run together.

            So, we had only one conclusion to draw. She is asexual. We decided to confront her. The five delegates Luke, Mackenzie, Aaron, Riely, and I approached her as she sat on the lawn eating lunch and doing a bit of homework. We stopped two feet away. She looked at us and blinked.

            "Can I help you?"

            Luke was our spokesman, he is a Captain. "We have all come to the conclusion that you are asexual. Do you confirm or deny this conclusion?"  
            She stared. She blinked twice, opened her mouth, closed it, blinked again and burst out laughing. She rolled around on the ground, uncontrollable bubbles of laughter erupting from her. We just watched until she finished. She wiped tears from her eyes as she sat up. She looked up at us again, a shit-eating grin on her face, but her voice was deadpan serious.

            "You've nailed it. I'm asexual. Now shoo. I have work to do."

            We walked away arguing. We can't tell for the life of us if she was being sarcastic or not. 


	4. Brotherly Love

A/N-Sorry I haven't updated in forever but my homework eventually caught up with me. But to make up for it I'm posting a bunch at once. Have fun reading and don't forget ot review.  
  
Luke Smith  
  
It's obvious we all love Rae. First it was friendship love, then sisterly love, but it turned into brotherly. How can that be? Easy. To love a sister is to feel a protective love, we feel that way about Julie and somewhat Connie. But Rae won't let us feel that way about her.  
  
If my brother was hurt in hockey I'd slap him on the shoulder and say something to the effect of "man, that was some hit." If it was my sister I'd repeatedly ask her if she were okay. Rae will only allow the former. She growls at us otherwise.  
  
But sometimes that protectiveness comes out. I don't care how tough or strong she is she's still small, and there are a lot of big people out there who could squash her.  
  
The other day I felt it in a big way.  
  
We were winning again. Rae had two goals and two assists, I guess that's why they hated her so much. They were definitely gunning for her. We warned her not to turn her back to the ice, but she never listens when it interferes with her play. The opponent saw his opportunity and took it. He was a foot taller than her and twice as wide. He rammed her, headfirst, into the boards.  
  
Now Rae is known for her quick recovery. You knock her down and she's back up in 2 seconds. This time she didn't get up. She didn't even move. It took all our restraint and a lot of the coaches yelling to stop the bench from spilling over. I jumped on and motioned Portman to come off, I'm not supposed to leave the bench but I hoped no one would notice if the right number were on the ice. I followed the trainer over to her and knelt down. Her eyes were squeezed shut. Her breathing was harsh.  
  
The trainer pushed me away. I let him. I felt tears in my eyes, I felt anger and rage. I stood off to the side and watched the trainer's ministrations. Coach came over. I picked up her stick and threw it to Warner. The rest of the guys were over at the bench. They were glaring at our opponents.  
  
There was motion from Rae. I glided closer. The trainer talked to her softly, I couldn't hear the mumbled replies. She finally sat up. I saw her grimace. I moved closer, she looked up at me. She was mad.  
  
Coach and I helped her up and escorted her to the bench. We sat her down in the center. I made her look at me.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked.  
  
She growled back. "I'm fine enough to kill."  
  
I grinned. No tears, just murder. That's my asexual friend. She throws our stereotypes out the window.  
  
She continued to play that game. She showed that they could never beat her down by scoring another goal. 


	5. Crush

Luis Mendoza  
  
I can't. I just can't. It's not good. It won't work. This can't be. I already know the answer. She made that point more than clear, but isn't it true that what you deny the most you want the most. I hope it's true. No, I don't. It would be awkward. I'm not worthy. She'd punch me if she knew I thought that.  
  
Why her? Couldn't it have been someone else, anyone but her. She won't like it. I won't tell her. I hate frustration. She thinks I'm a superficial flirt, I am one. Of course she doesn't think that. She doesn't stereotype.  
  
I don't know how this happened. It wasn't supposed to It just snuck up on me one night. They say love is all in the lighting. It must be true. That day she looked so beautiful. Her face was joyous, she was laughing, her head thrown back. The sunlight hit her, illuminating her face, making her eyes dance.  
  
Then a couple days later I saw her outside, alone in the dark. She was on the roof looking up at the stars. She was on the edge, laying down on the knee high barrier, one leg dangled over the outside edge, one over the inside. Her hands rested on her stomach. I was about to leave her when she sighed.  
  
It was such a dejected sigh. I quietly made my way over. Something sparkled on her cheek. She must have caught my movement because she looked over. I saw pain in her eyes, pain and deep sadness. She quickly masked it, but I saw.  
  
She popped up when she saw me and chatted amiably a few minutes then left. I want to know what she's hiding. I want to know her more, I want to protect her. I want to hold her in my arms and keep all evil away.  
  
After that night I realized that what I felt for her was more than a friendship, more than a sibling bond. She's unlike all the girls I've gone out with before. They were just good looking with no substance. She's substance and just happens to be good looking. She's the only person who's ever looked past my pretty boy attitude. Even my closest friends think there is nothing more to me than hockey and girls. We're kind of alike in that respect. No one thinks that there is more to her than hockey and advice giver.  
  
What am I going to do? Small steps. Maybe I'll never get to the point where I confess to her but maybe at least I can now confess it to myself.  
  
I love Rae. 


	6. Worries

Gavin Mackenzie  
  
I'm worried about Rae. She never really talks to me. Or anyone else for that matter. Everyone has talked to her about their problems but she never told us hers. She's taking too much on herself, it can't be good.  
  
She never talks about her past. We are always talking about the evils of parents, she laughs but doesn't volunteer stories. Ever since her speech we haven't heard anything about her friends or family.  
  
She's gotten worse lately. It's nearing Christmas, is that why? She didn't go home for Thanksgiving, she hopped houses with us here in Minnesota. Turkey day she was with Gaffney, I was a little hurt that she didn't spend it with me, but I'm beginning to think she just wanted to avoid a conversation.  
  
The talk among the teams has been centered around the upcoming holidays and their plans for it. She doesn't participate in these discussions. I think I may be the only one that notices. Although, I think Stack might. She hasn't been able to look at him for the last few days.  
  
I want her to talk to me but she won't. I asked what she planned for Christmas and she shrugged. Something is definitely not right at home. I wish she would tell me.  
  
  
  
Todd Stack  
  
It's beginning to slightly piss me off. Why is she avoiding me? I didn't do a damn thing to her. Whenever I'm around her she doesn't look at me. Although a few times she has but she quickly looks away. Something changes in her face when that happens, but I can't tell what. She's tense around me. I try to talk to her and she makes an excuse to leave. I'm going to confront her. I can't stand this anymore. I have to know her reason. 


	7. Suspicions

Rae Perrin  
  
I'm trying to hide it. But it's so hard this time of year. I don't want to talk about it. I don't know if I can, I don't know how. I wish this was easier. I wish I weren't so stubborn. I thought I was over it but perhaps I just lost myself in hockey and helping others.  
  
It's my first Christmas since it happened. It's gotten hard to look at Todd, Stack. He reminds me so much of my brother. I think he may suspect something. Gavin too, he's way too perceptive. He was my friend before the others, he takes the time to look at how I feel. He's the only one that doesn't dump his problems at my feet. We talk, but it's more of a discussion than complaining.  
  
I think Mendoza knows. He caught me on the roof. I didn't expect anyone to be up. He's been looking at me strangely these past few days.  
  
I don't know what I'm going to do for Christmas. Go home? Possibly, but only for Christmas Eve and Day. I don't want to stay there for long, they'll suffocate me. The guys will let me hop among them. There's enough that I can changed houses everyday. I'll have to stay at Gav's this time. I think I upset him at Thanksgiving by not staying with him. But he's too perceptive.  
  
I'm going to have to learn to be more composed. To hide it better. I'm strong, I'm tough, I don't cry. 


End file.
